My own personal Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving (two weeks ago now, sheesh!) I went back to Nanaimo for the second year in a row. I have no doubt that when I left there ( almost three years ago)I was really, really ready to leave there, but there is a part of me that will always find itself in the neighbourhood where I raised my daughter and where I drew the nearest to God and to myself.
Tops on my list of things to be grateful for then is simply the chance to go back, pretty much whenever I want, thanks to some very dear friends who are still there and make me feel like it's my own home that I'm coming back to.
This year my friends were actually in Nepal doing this amazing trek, however, that left their 18 year old daughter, who is like a second daughter to me, by herself for Thanksgiving and she said that she would rather have me there with her than hang out with her friends for that weekend. I felt the same way so, perfect.
The first night we just visited and talked, found our way with each other. I truly like this girl a lot. She is very important to me and a second thing I will give thanks for is being able to continue to be this close to this family.
The second day was indescribably beautiful. I have put pictures with this post simply because a picture is often, truly, worth a thousand words.
It's like, the way that the water looked when I walked down to the beach. It was crystal clear. You could see every pebble, every ripple, every shadow and even though it was fall, I wanted to put my toes in it because it was so perfect. There was every cliche fabulous thing happening at the beach that day it made me laugh out loud. There were feathers floating. There was a jelly fish on the shore, there were seagulls flying over head, there were sailboats and it was quiet and I heard people being gentle and kind to one another.It wasn't just beautiful to look at it was beautiful inside of me. I just felt so present and available. Full of inner hospitality. That's what I strive for everyday and it's always so satisfying to have a day like that. It keeps me hopeful for days and days afterwards. It's what I want to bring into the relationships that I have with the people around me. It's like, when I am around my family, especially my daughter and granddaughter, I am content or I get excited and I feel happy without trying because things make sense. But, when I am by myself I have to work not to feel jangled and disjointed in my head because I feel like something is missing. None of this is okay from a Christian standpoint because I know that there was a time in my past that being alone was so easy for me. It was just time to be connected to God and it was like breathing. This is all stuff I am finding my way back to and this time in Departure Bay was like finding myself fitting back into my own skin again without any effort. It was, quite simply, exactly the way that I want to feel in my own head and heart all the time. I would love to say more to try and convey that but it's just the truth. It was a time for me to remember what it felt like to be alone and not need or want for any other feeling to be inside of me or anything else to make the moment what it was.

On a Sunday Morning

I just got back from a Sunday Morning communion service that brought with it an enormity of emotion.
It starts for me with the knowledge that I am in the place I am supposed to be. Something I never thought I would feel at the cathedral, but something I am extremely grateful for.

"It was the 70th Anniversary of the "Battle of Britain", which took place in the skies over Britain in the summer of 1940 and is considered by many to have been the most significant battle of the Second World War. The defense of the skies over Britain rested on the shoulders of a gallant group of fighter pilots from Britain and the Commonwealth who succeeded in their task of thwarting the Luftwaffe, and averting a Nazi invasion which would, in all probability, have taken place, thereby changing the history of our world."

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few ~ Winston Churchill

It is at this time that we also stop in church and give prayer and thanks for the pilots in harm's way on the many missions undertaken by the Canadian Forces around the world, and particularly in Afghanistan.

The Recessional Hymn today was one based on an old melody (for those in peril on the sea) but was altered many many years ago for those who had flown. The fourth verse snuck up on me.

We thank You, Father, for the days
Of golden dawns and sunsets' rays
Accept our praise, O Lord we pray
And guide us on Your chosen way.
Be with us, Father, as we rise
To brave the challenge of the skies.

My own father, who is never truly far from my thoughts, has been in them a great deal lately. A little more than usual, I would say. I have heard his voice giving me his perspective on things that I am dealing with, and hearing his corny old expressions whenever they are suitable to the conversation. Last night my sisters and I were working with a challenge of sorts and again, we referenced, "how would he have said this, if he were still alive?"

So, this morning, with the cathedral full of aviators in their crisp uniforms, fly boys for us to put a human face to it all, I could not help but think of Dad and his love of flying, and while the words of the last verse were being sung I choked back huge sobs (I was trying to make a baby laugh so....) as waves of memories flooded my conscious mind. I was suddenly filled with gratitude and awe at the wonder of being able to have flown with my Dad so many times. It's easy to forget about, but it was the very best thing I ever experienced with him and I've always wished I could do it one more time. I left the church and came out into the warm sunshine and knew it would have been a great day to have gotten in a plane with him.

I turned the corner on to our street and the whole of the armed forces that had been in our church today were over at the Cathedral's graveyard to place their memorial over there. The lone trumpeter played the most beautiful and lingering Reveille I had ever heard. Thank you for that.

Thank you, Dad, for taking me on that adventure with you and sharing one of your great joys with me, I am eternally grateful.

Thank you, Father in Heaven, for taking me on an even greater adventure with you, and for sharing joy when you gave us Jesus. I am eternally grateful.

My heart is full and I wish I knew how to share it better. I hope and pray the people around me will help me as I learn how to love more fully, more openly, with more bravery.

Be with us, Father, as we rise
To brave the challenge of the skies.

pooooo

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