Why have we forgotten about radical change, radical growth? Or do we just not think that kind of shift belongs to us. It's for other people; is that the way we have started to believe?
We do it in our families.... "Well, I can't tell her/him how I feel about that, it's just the way they are. We've always had that relationship and I just don't see it changing... and, my beliefs, views pain, it is just not what they want to hear about." Why doesn't it matter enough that you could reach farther into their hearts and truly know them , to take the risk of being exactly who you are with them and let them truly be who they are with you. That means mother to daughter, daughter to mother, sister to sister, aunt to nephew, niece to uncle, cousin to cousin. We were put in our families for a reason and they are a testing ground for how we relate to the world. Why do we lose all our courage here in this landscape?
We have friendships that we just let disappear and fade into time and others that we maintain but how much is real and how much is just a facade? How many of your friends really know you? And it's not how many friends would stand beside you in a crisis, it's how many of them would you ask? How many of them would you let in?
Romantic relationships end and instead of making new friends out of the person we have just ended it with, or honouring them, we live in culture that just expects things to get bad or worse or just be nothing... is that person nothing?
I am horrified at the little we accept, at the mediocre and lukewarm prayers we pray. We allow our well-worn and time honoured traditions around communication and lifestyles to rule us. We truly let molehills become mountains in our lives by refusing to step out in faith and courage.
I am sick to death of the mediocre in me. I want to slam it into a wall and never let it up again. I want to rise to every challenge God puts in my way, even if the challenge is learning how to be grateful. I don't want to accept a mediocre gratitude from myself, I don't want to pay lip service to anything I do. My church, my neighbourhood, my country, my world is in bed with mediocrity and I know there are some righteous souls out there kicking lukewarm in the ass and winning and I want to be a part of that.
What about you?
5 comments:
I'd like to kick lukewarm in the ass too Jan.
And unfortunately I have to go to work, but upon my return I may just write you a longer comment in here!
I think part of this is what I was trying to convey in my "striving for perfection" blog. I'm tired of taking the 'easy' way through relationships. Striving to be perfect by being someone that I obviously am not. (Which explains the quotations around the word easy.) This includes relationships with some of my really good friends, my parents etc. Which relates to what you are saying about settling for the mediocre in relationships. Sometimes it just seems so much easier and way less painful to maintain the facade that you have become and settle for mediocrity rather than challenge it.
But believe me, it's not easier. Maintaining a facade of perfection leads you down the fast lane of loneliness towards the driveway of becoming an emotional hermit.
Who I really want to become is somebody with no fear of showing exactly who they are. And I want to be able to provide others with a friendship that offers this type of comfort level.
Which is something that I think you are very skilled at Jan. And thankyou for the thought-provoking blog.
Oh and I wanted to tell you that I'm not settling for mediocre in my dating life anymore. I've made a pact that I'm waiting for the man that God has for me...or I'll be single if that's what's in God's plans for my life.
I am so glad it resonated for you and thank you for giving me the positive feedback on it. It suprised yet pleased me that you felt that I was able to provide a friendship that in terms of comfort level was helpful to you, or that you can see working with others. Also, thumbs up for the dating surrender.
I'm not sure what t say on this right now. I would love to now your thought process behind what brought you to this point. (I know you feel this way most of the time, but what brought you to he place where it became a need to write about it.)
I would have to say that honestly most of he time with my family and long time friends I have the hardest time with this, (harder than with realtionships not so close) but I appreciate the challenge to not let things fade & acknowledge the risk. Well said, as always.
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