James 4 verse 14
It's less than an hour to midnight. The last hour of the last day of 2008. So, what is a year. It was made of moments and experiences, hopes and failures, emotions and drudgery; all that makes up a life, broken down into time. Moments become days, days become months, months become a year, years become decades, decades become centuries and centuries become millenia. It's all a little surreal really, and if it becomes more than surreal, it can become overwhelming, being part of relentless march of time. Is it relentless, or is it a gift? It has been a strange year. I completely changed my life. New job, new city, new home, new.... new sounds... the church bells are ringing down the block.
I don't enjoy the tone of these bells, but I do find the very fact of them reassuring. They make me feel connected. They have been ringing for a very long time and before these ones, others rang out the call; not just here, but in cathedrals everywhere. Actually, as I listen, I realize that tonight they are ringing a different tune. It's a little melancholy, or maybe that's just me; it's actually a more melodic tune than they normally have, strangely juxtaposed against the drunkenness going on just outside my door and the steady thump of the bass from the house party beside me. It makes me want to be outside. Not with the revelers, but just outside, where I can feel the air and taste the rain. However, when I let all of the noise in my own head stop, I find that I am content to be half inside and half out.
The Christmas tree is on, and the only other light is the candle burning at the table.I have my glass of wine, my book and I'm sitting beside the open window where I can actually feel the rain and taste the air, which on a night like this, is probably better than the other way around. I've turned off the t.v. finally, just so I could spend the last hour of the year with God, but found I needed to say something to myself first. I'm pretty sure it's just to remind myself that there is substance and there is life. There, they've started again and will probably go on intermittently till midnight. I'm glad.
2 comments:
Have you ever considered writing a novel? I enjoyed reading this and the way that you wrote it was neat. Made me feel like there were two levels of what you were feeling; the one you chose to share, and the other that you just gave little glimpses of.
Awww that's awfully nice of you to say. Also, yes, i've always thought of writing a novel. I think i have several started in my head and a couple on paper, but just little bits and pieces. I actually enjoyed writing that though and I was glad that it reflected how I felt somewhat.
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