Rowland E. Prothero, writing over a hundred years ago, says:
"The Psalms are a mirror in which each man sees the motions of his own soul. They express in exquisite words the kinship which every thoughtful heart craves to find with a supreme, unchanging, loving God, who will be to him a protector, guardian, and friend. They utter the ordinary experiences, the familiar thoughts of men; but they give to these a width of range, an intensity, a depth, and an elevation, which transcend the capacity of the most gifted."
Last month we did our second session on Contemplative Prayer on the Psalms. I feel that we only scratched the surface, and it has led me to know that I want to spend much more time on this subject.
Bruce Bryant-Scott came out and explained a number of historical aspects regarding the psalms. I am not going to try and encapsulate that for you as I would not do any of it justice. Suffice it to say that as someone who enjoys the history of the church and the history of the bible (as they are so intrinsically connected), I was fascinated and would like to have heard more.
What was beautiful was getting to hear him chant (in various forms) the psalms out loud in such a lovely setting. It makes you remember that the Word of God should be something you take your time with, something that you linger over and roll around on your tongue like a fine wine.
The main gist of the session, from my perspective anyway, was to try and talk about the opportunity to embrace the psalms as a very concrete and human way to lay a foundation for both silent prayer and time with God in His word. It can be daunting to expect to find yourself so perfectly and completely alone with God in silence, and not all that healthy emotionally, because time in silent prayer can be far too ethereal if you do not connect it to something substantial. It has to have a cornerstone, a base point, an underpinning to keep you both connected vertically to God and horizontally to man and, most importantly in my opinion, to allow you to be aware of the emotions you are dealing with in this broken world so that you can rise above them in the end and find out what it is that God is saying to you about your place in that world.
I love the Psalms. I have been blessed by them more times than I can count. When I have found myself in pain, emotionally, spiritually, physically, I have been able to go to them like a friend, like a confidant, like a guide and be comforted by the non-judgmental quality of the human voice uttered likewise, often, in pain or distress. It has given me the sense that I am not alone in the messy unreligious experience I may be having as I struggle, humanly, to find my feet again in my walk and overcome some area of conflict.
At the end of the session I read one of the psalms that I have been writing as a practice of finding my way out of a bad day, bad mood, bad inner battle, et cetera, in the tradition of the psalms as we know them. As Bruce laid out for us, there are several different narrative styles used in the Psalms: first person, third person, God speaking to us, us speaking to God, either-or...
I don't pretend to know much about that, but what I do know is that there is something inherently healing and solid about writing out your emotions and your inner dialogue; so just pick one that feels comfortable to you. I think that God honours the attempt no matter how perfect/imperfect the final draft. I encourage you to write your own psalm as a way to get at the truth of what you are feeling. I hope to write more/speak more about this at another time so if there is not enough meat here, either ask me a particular question in the comments, or make it clear that you would like to explore this theme more going forward.
Here is the psalm I wrote again for reference:
Psalm 1013
I'm so uncomfortable in my skin tonight.
It's been months and months since this visited.
Grief looking over my shoulder; looking at me from the mirror
Wondering if I'm finished being happy yet.
Ready to take it back.
I want something present and sharp but i get the past, polluted and vague and scary.
I retreat instead
In my head
Fill my mind up with a life that isn't real in the hopes that I won't remember what I was sad about
What I was nervous about
What I can't fix
So impotent so broken so done with this
God, are you still in the centre of this like you said you were?
If I am still in the centre of this will I know you are?
Just be my centre in the midst of this
It's your peace I miss.
It's possible with you that I will simply go to bed
Lie in safety
Till I wake
Not take back what isn't mine to mend
You can take it for tonight.
the end.
So give it a try! It may be fruitful for you. At least I pray it might.
God bless.
