I'm out, but I don't want to be
I don't want to be home either
There are so many people downtown
And I could walk into any bar right now and find someone I know
I would still feel completely alone
Came this close to going home, got three texts
Meet me here. Don't go. See you then.
Maybe I can do this. The mood will pass. The night is young
Three different bars, three different groups, only one problem
No one here is you and I'm not even myself
If I just keep moving I can slip out of my skin and into something...
Much more comfortable
First bar, small talk with my first drink in hand.
I know there are words coming out of my mouth but I'm not even listening
He's funny, the other one's good looking and nothing's ever mattered less
Time to move on, Like you moved on? I'd appreciate it if you left.
Instead I leave, find myself moving more easily at the second stop
Find some breathing room and a small part of my soul
A few more connections that seem real. Not grounded in anything but fake flowers
More drinks and I'm done here. One last puff. One more text. Next bar.
Outside there's some unexpected chemistry. Haphazard and fleeting. Like my good mood.
I move inside and there's no amount of alcohol that can numb how empty this feels.
Friends met want me to stay, but there's no joy in this place. And I have none to spare
That was my foot you fucking twat. Please, stop grabbing my ass.
This isn't even well earned sweat you are trying to rub against me. I'm out.
Thought about heading home, had to see if I could dance some of this off.
It works most of the time, but not tonight.
A few more friends to catch. One more friend to patch. Just as I was starting to relax.
I'm the most drunk sober I've ever been.
Can see directly through the haze I tried to create.
Going home seems acceptable now. Past due being there.
Community on my cell phone keeps me company.
Keeps me safe while it's so late. I wouldn't let a friend walk in this neighbourhood at night.
It's the fatigue and hour that have finally caused my brain to stop.
It's not what I want but it's what I've got.
And I'm ready to lay it down. While I lay down.
I know I won't sleep, but I can rest.
Tomorrow I will feel differently and the lens I look through will be affected
More people around me tonight than was comfortable.
Just be grateful. Just be blessed. Forget the rest.
