My own personal Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving (two weeks ago now, sheesh!) I went back to Nanaimo for the second year in a row. I have no doubt that when I left there ( almost three years ago)I was really, really ready to leave there, but there is a part of me that will always find itself in the neighbourhood where I raised my daughter and where I drew the nearest to God and to myself.
Tops on my list of things to be grateful for then is simply the chance to go back, pretty much whenever I want, thanks to some very dear friends who are still there and make me feel like it's my own home that I'm coming back to.
This year my friends were actually in Nepal doing this amazing trek, however, that left their 18 year old daughter, who is like a second daughter to me, by herself for Thanksgiving and she said that she would rather have me there with her than hang out with her friends for that weekend. I felt the same way so, perfect.
The first night we just visited and talked, found our way with each other. I truly like this girl a lot. She is very important to me and a second thing I will give thanks for is being able to continue to be this close to this family.
The second day was indescribably beautiful. I have put pictures with this post simply because a picture is often, truly, worth a thousand words.
It's like, the way that the water looked when I walked down to the beach. It was crystal clear. You could see every pebble, every ripple, every shadow and even though it was fall, I wanted to put my toes in it because it was so perfect. There was every cliche fabulous thing happening at the beach that day it made me laugh out loud. There were feathers floating. There was a jelly fish on the shore, there were seagulls flying over head, there were sailboats and it was quiet and I heard people being gentle and kind to one another.It wasn't just beautiful to look at it was beautiful inside of me. I just felt so present and available. Full of inner hospitality. That's what I strive for everyday and it's always so satisfying to have a day like that. It keeps me hopeful for days and days afterwards. It's what I want to bring into the relationships that I have with the people around me. It's like, when I am around my family, especially my daughter and granddaughter, I am content or I get excited and I feel happy without trying because things make sense. But, when I am by myself I have to work not to feel jangled and disjointed in my head because I feel like something is missing. None of this is okay from a Christian standpoint because I know that there was a time in my past that being alone was so easy for me. It was just time to be connected to God and it was like breathing. This is all stuff I am finding my way back to and this time in Departure Bay was like finding myself fitting back into my own skin again without any effort. It was, quite simply, exactly the way that I want to feel in my own head and heart all the time. I would love to say more to try and convey that but it's just the truth. It was a time for me to remember what it felt like to be alone and not need or want for any other feeling to be inside of me or anything else to make the moment what it was.